Red Head called me yesterday. he also called me drunk at 2 a.m. and proceeded to leave a drunk voicemail. i love drunk voicemails. they are usually hysterical, awkward, and nonsensical, but that's why they're great. Not Red Head's drunk voicemails. i cringe everytime he calls me drunk, because he always leaves a voicemail. the voicemail is not amusing, or funny. he details his whole night, which means the voicemail is at least 3 minutes long, always proclaims that he is wasted at the beginning and that is why he's calling, and the events of his night aren't. even. interesting.
we all know that drunken calls and drunken voicemails are a cry of lonliness. it's an unspoken fact. but don't make it so freakin' obvious that you're desperately lonely at the end of the night. it just ends up making me uncomfortable.
this unexpected event brought to mind the fact that i am going to have to deal with that situation when i get back to school. i have no idea what me and Red Head are, or even if there is anything there anymore. i think there is on his part, not so much on mine. i was perfectly alright not calling or seeing him all break, and i never had any desire to call him drunk. however, i feel like he is going to try to resume the friendship slash hooking up arrangement we had before i left.
i'm just not interested anymore. if i ever was.
because i realized now that i truly like someone again, that i am not willing to settle for the no label, open situation. yes i love being single and having freedom. but at heart, i'm not a casual hook-up, gray area for a long time, type of girl. and i'm okay with that.
now---to find a way to break this to him.
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