any good apples?

every day i am more and more disillusioned with the male half of the human race.

i start to believe that there are actually decent men out there when i meet a guy who has a personality, can hold a decent conversation without bragging about his athletic ability, workout regimen, or how much he can drink, is attractive in the right way, and can laugh---really deep-down belly laugh without feeling self-conscious or conspicuous for actually having fun in public. i click with this guy....really click. our vibes were doing the cha-cha. He offered me a ride back from the bar, and i accepted.

so i let him kiss me.
i let myself kiss him back.
and it was glorious.

we were laughing, talking, and having fun. he tasted right, kissed right, and knew exactly where to put his hands. there was no awkwardness, just an easy comfort with a flash of heat that i slipped right into with a mental sigh.

i chose to make the smart decision and go home, instead of giving into the easy hookup. i had to congratulate myself on my good decision because it soon became evident that the guy had some baggage---in a big way.

he has a girlfriend.

what's worse is that while i'm discouraged, frustrated, and that much more unwilling to look for decent guys...i'm also not really surprised.

i don't know which is more depressing: that this guy turned out to be an illusion, or that i'm starting to expect all guys to be empty underneath the surface.