a five letter synonym for mistake

i received a facebook message from Best Friend today. it was an extremely long apology letter claiming deepest regrets about what happened in Miami.

she's sorry. sorry for breaking girl code. sorry for being selfish and drunk. sorry for cheating on the good guy friend that i had set her up with this summer with the guy that i was interested in. sorry for being sketchy and lying about it afterwards. sorry that she's apologizing in a facebook message. sorry it took her this long to apologize.

sorry. sorry. sorry.

i'm so tired of having people apologize for harmful or fucked up behavior weeks after it happens. i'm tired of them apologizing and then hoping that everything will go back to the way it was. like relationships can time-warp. if it's wrong and you know it, it shouldn't take you that long to 'fess up. maybe the problem is that i chose to form relationships with people that have weak characters.

so she apologized. which is a good thing, i guess. better than if she had never apologized. but i'm over it. i was over it two days after it happened. now i'm just indifferent to the entire situation. and to her.

i wrote back. mostly about how i was confused about our friendship, and that i was more hurt about the lying and changing stories after the whole thing had happened. i wanted respect for my intelligence at least. i mean, i heard them having sex. you can't really lie about something that obvious or audible.

this puts me at a crossroads. should i try to fix this friendship? should i turn my back? do i even care at this point to make either decision?

am i desperate enough for friends, and so afraid of being alone that i might turn a blind eye to everything that's happened?

i just....don't know.