my life is quickly spiraling downward.
first the keyboard on my laptop suddenly decides to just stop working. thus i have no access to my writing, aim, or my email. no outlet to express myself before things get so built up inside me that i explode. in other words, i have been thrown into a black hole of communication. it's sad that i am this dependent on my computer and the internet but i've accepted it and moved on. thank god i still have my cell phone.
i have also been making a rash of bad life decisions. like putting off my work until it becomes a mountain of shit that i can't see over, not doing anything about my future after college, distancing myself from close friends, and having a one night stand with the local bartender.
yes, i did say that last part.
i don't know how to stop the train wreck i am becoming. i KNOW i am not that person who is so desperately lonely that she'll go home with a pretty face. i KNOW that i have ambitions and dreams and the means to accomplish them, but day after day i find myself in the same place. and i definitely know that i am worth more that what i am right now.
it's like the part that is me, the real me---the core, is relegated to the little voice in the back of my head, and that voice keeps getting fainter and fainter.
i need to do....something. fast.
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1 comment:
stop taking the easy way out...
take it from someone who is really good at procrastinating when it comes to what they want.
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