lately i have been getting lonely...especially when i'm out and drinking. ironic how you can feel lost and alone in a sea full of people. how the very amount of people emphasizes that there are no real connections being made. or maybe not.
it's not a pretty sort of lonely either. i'm not sitting at a table with a sadly mysterious look on my face, nursing an elegant drink like a cosmo, and musing intelligently on the state of my singlehood while guys are drawn to me, wondering just what lies beyond all that sadness. it's more like i'm in a hole-in-the-wall bar chugging down cheap beer that's labeled wrong on the tap so that when it says you're drinking miller lite you're actually swilling down genny lite. more like my makeup has melted off, there's beer all over my shirt because i either spilled it on myself or someone bumped into me, and i'm blearily wondering who i can call, text, or flirt with late night so that physical closeness will help me pretend that maybe someone does care about me in a meaningful, intimate way.
it would just be nice to feel like at the end of the night, someone is wondering how i am. someone wants me to call them. someone wants me.
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2 comments:
YOU remind me much of myself ;)
I like reading your stuff...
someone does want you...
they just haven't found you yet.
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